There is no comparison of the goodness of the sun light with anything else in this world. And now a days; due to severe cold and fog and mist in atmosphere, we hardly get any chance to enjoy the sun, and this morning was different from the morning of all days, because the sun was shining in the sky and I was sitting on the terrace of my home to enjoy the sun. I was looking very tense as I was confused over some matter and could not determine "What should I do?". I was thinking of continuing my current and temporary job which I am doing faraway from my home in a research institute or to quit it and join the training course of two year which will offer me permanent government job of teaching in my hometown. While the former is related to my study and demands more investment of approximately 6-7 years and which is uncertain too, the later leads me towards the settlement in my life and promised me to offer a government job and a bright future. I was pondering over this question and it has become the usual condition for me because now because I have become addicted to this condition of dilemma.
My grandmother, whom I called 'Amma', and who usually lived in our village home, has arrived here at our home in city, after a long time. She, too, was sitting there and caring my newly born nephew. She was massaging him and meanwhile taking a glimpse of me. I was aware that she was observing me, so I was trying to look normal. But I was annoyed very much and staring continuously the vehicles and trespassers on the roads. I thought many times to discuss the matter with Amma, but I didn't know what forbids me to do so. May be it was communication gap or something else due to which I was hesitating and could not talk with her.
She broke the silence and asked me, "What are you thinking?"
"Nothing.." I replied.
"Oh;; so what have you decided for your future?" She asked again.
Now, Amma was getting the nerve of my problem on which I was thinking continuously.
"I am feeling unable to decide anything." I replied.
"Your elder sister has told me that you should not leave the opportunity offered to you at your hometown and join this training, although you can leave your temporary job which you are doing faraway from your home." She was saying, "This training course is much better for you and for your future, and not that job."
I don't know how has she come to know my problem? Nobody has told her about my problem, although she was aware of my condition. It was, perhaps, her sixth sense, I concluded, due to which she read my mind exactly.
She has solved my problem, but this solution, too, turned in to a problem for me....as I am a born confused.